“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” – Charles Dickens
The feeling of shame is powerful. It has stopped many from returning to make an attempt to succeed where they failed.
The reason the feeling of shame works against success is, it often arouses the fear of failing again and the likelihood of being shamed again. So naturally for many, they choose to avoid a return to where they were humbled and forgo whatever reward that may lie beyond that spot.
But one doesn’t have to surrender to the feeling of shame and lose the chance to achieve their life goals. It’s possible to overcome shame. No one is perfect and everyone once in a while, no matter how great they are, makes mistakes they’re ashamed of.
Those who overcome shame know one absolute truth. Which is, the world forgives and gives a second chance to those humble enough to ask for forgiveness and courageous enough to ask for a second chance.
It’s within your natural rights to ask for forgiveness when you wrong someone and try again when you fail because in most cases you’re going to get both.
In few cases, which you wouldn’t be forgiven or be given a second chance to make amends, the heaviness on the heart caused by the feeling of shame would be lifted. Then you would feel lighter to overcome shame faster.
Finally, find in Brené Brown words, the reason to overcome shame,
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.