We are emotional human beings constantly in need of someone to love, to fight with, to share our laughter with and to share our tears with.
Where do we find that one person we need to give us the emotional audience and support?
In relationships, which some lead to marriages.
Marriage is real beginning of the real test of how much support we can receive and how much of it we can give.
It’s often nice and cosy at the early stages when two people overlook unpleasant things and utterances in the hope that they will go away.
Do they really go away? Few do but most don’t. A spouse may choose to live with occasional unpleasantness and work hard with the belief that their hard work will smoothen out all rough edges. After that, everything will be fine.
It rarely turns out this way even after couples have weathered the early storm that wrecks many marriages.
Happenings outside homes, outside the control of couples, though not the only ones, are mostly the ones that have one partner really need the emotional support of another.
Rising to the occasion is a tough call for many and in many circumstances. Many fail to respond appropriately and provide sufficient support to help a partner through tough times.
Tough times occur in diverse situations and conditions.
- Your spouse is angry;
Anger, the burning coal,
happens to all.
Only very few of us,
have the power to put it under control.
Moments of anger call for understanding and support. It’s hard if the anger is directed at you because you naturally are going to return the fire. Then things begin to snowball, the molehill gradually begins to take the shape of an intimidating mountain.
But a little patience and understanding are the basis of the support that helps the angry partner calm down. Calming frayed nerves is very necessary to prevent regrettable consequences.
A little thing like an occasional anger should not cause friction between you and your partner. It’s okay to disagree on some things but no disagreement should cause a division in your relationship.
Unity is very important because it’s common for anger triggers to be remote. It may be failure to get a pay raise; a friend breaks a promise, just about any trigger that’s not within the home.
When your spouse transfers an aggression or brings an anger home so to speak, support them emotionally through the low moment.
Be there for them; sometimes tell them you care in words, at other times, let silence and actions show them how much you care.
Do all you can to prove that your spouse is not alone.
2. Loss of job or loss of investment;
A loss of job is a loss of financial security. Financial security is what gives a lot of humans the feeling of confidence, a sense of pride and the access to most of their desires. The loss of it often causes a feeling of low self worth.
Your emotional support is needed to help your partner recover their self worth.
Let them know that a loss of job or investment doesn’t mean that they have failed in life. Let them know that they would bounce back and go all the way up to the top. That it’s just a matter of time, hard work, belief and persistence.
Be totally supportive in words and in actions. Your partner could easily be irritated at little things, well such moments would be tough for you but don’t give up and walk away.
Stay and do all you can to help a human being have their life back.
Disappointments are a part of life. Expectations are not always met; our efforts don’t always produce the results we desire and people don’t always keep their promises to us.
When expectations are not met, don’t most of us get disappointed? Most of us do and when we do, we feel better after sharing our disappointments with someone we love and trust.
So when your spouse is going through a moment of disappointment, show an emotional support.
Empathize so that you could reach them at the deepest part of their disappointment. This should give you the right words of hope and encouragement to share and help.
Disappointment is bad, frustration is worse but a spouse going through a moment of frustration is not beyond help. Again , all you have to do is to give the right level of emotional support.
Words of encouragement should be served on a daily basis. Remind your spouse at every oppprtunity that you’re going to stand by them.
Act in a manner that gives them the belief they need to take bold actions that would get them out of frustration.
The period a spouse falls into depression is one of the most challenging times in marriage.
More of your time is going to be needed, consequently other commitments are expectedly going to be neglected.
Not only that, it’s going to task your patience and understanding more than it would in normal times.
But giving more of your time is just the right way to give an emotional support to a depressed spouse.
The good news is that you have experts to take your spouse to for professional support.
6. Ill health;
One of the most emotionally draining moments is when a spouse is suffering from ill health.
As days of ill health increase so will the pressure on the stronger partner to sustain the provision of emotional support under emotionally sapping circumstances.
The sick spouse may be completed dependent on others to take care of themselves.
Their helplessness may cause them to be very irritating, have a negative outlook on life and sometimes, be unappreciative of sacrifices made to assist them.
If you’re the healthy spouse, don’t quit. Look within you and draw on the reserve of your inner strength to continue to be supportive emotionally.
7. Periods of uncertainty;
You will have to give full emotional support when a spouse is experiencing periods of uncertainty, maybe at the beginning of a new business.
A spouse facing a future of uncertainty needs constant reassurance of total support to lean on and draw confidence from.
You’ve to learn to read signs of hopelessness, frustration and quickly give words of hope and encouragement.
The task of giving an emotional support is a tough one but love makes it easy. Others are doing it, you too can do it for the one you love from the bottom of your heart.