Don’t we all love what makes us happy and hate what makes us sad? We do but for your relationship to work, you must find a good way to live with what you don’t love, for the sake of the one you don’t love.
This is where tolerance comes in. Is your spouse or friend in the habit of doing something you don’t like? Tolerate, because if you don’t, you may throw away the baby with the bath water. Have you considered this? That habit which you don’t like about your friend, may be your friend’s primary source of happiness. It may be your friend’s true source of comfort.
Being in love or enjoying love and quality attention, doesn’t stop us from seeking the sanctuary of solitude, once in a while. There are times your partner wants to be left alone to enjoy something, though selfish but which is greater than all the love, attention and comfort, you can ever give. Sometimes, although not intentional, your partner may escape into the ‘me-alone-world’ when you really need an attention. You have to tolerate. Trying to have your way then can cause a misunderstanding.
In the heat of a misunderstanding, nothing makes sense. Everybody wants to be heard but nobody wants to listen when there’s a misunderstanding. No progress will be made until one person decides to understand. If you really want to build a great relationship, then be the one to love, tolerate and understand.